Funny words and euphemisms for masturbation

We all remember the days of our teenage years when we got our start in the field of masturbation. Some of us were happy to experiment while others were so shy we had our own slangs to address supposedly forbidden acts between friends?

Jack off? Jill off? Hand variegated? Disappointing? Stupid phrases, aren’t they?

Now that we’ve grown up, the act of self-indulgence doesn’t seem so forbidden and the euphemism for masturbation has only gotten more creative over time. Millennial slang is full of fun and funny euphemisms for masturbation.

After all, why should Jack and Jill alone matter so much.

With fruits like cucumbers and bananas becoming phallic in reference to foods like cookies and cupcakes symbolizing vaginas when placed in a sexual context, here are 15 silly words for masturbation you need to start using if you don’t care. feel uncomfortable with the word masturbation.

I mean, for fun, let’s try this!

Slangs for male masturbation

Avoid these dozens of rude words for male masturbation from your vocabulary and use these weird words instead.

1. DIY – Do it yourself

Simple enough, DIY means exactly what it stands for – do it yourself. DIY in new Gen-Z lingo can mean the act of self-stimulation.

Basically, your happiness is in your hands and you have to do whatever it takes to make yourself happy. Even if it means using a little lubricant to increase this pleasure.

2. Debug your hard drive

This phrase is particularly popular with technicians and computer geeks. It’s like debugging your hard drive once in a while can ensure greater concentration and productivity at work.

3. Charm the snake

Animal and fruit imagery has always surrounded male masturbation and so charming your snake is a legitimate way of saying you’re busy pleasuring yourself.

4. Spank the Monkey

Spanking the monkey is another phrase used for masturbation that has an animal reference attached to it. It’s predictable but pathetic.

5. Pocket Pinball

If your hand simply slips into your pocket only to realize moments later that you’re already there, you may be doing what’s called a “pocket pinball.” It’s a slang word for stroking your penis through your pockets, usually when you’re bored or daydreaming.

6. Make the Bald Cry

Making the bald man cry or making the bald man vomit is a fun understatement for saying that you’re busy stroking your genitals, addressing your penis as the bald man.

7. Soaking your noodles

Most of us are familiar with the idiom “use your noodle” which means “use your head” or “try again”. However, millennials often also use the slang phrase oozing your noodle which means to masturbate. Noodle is often used to refer to a flaccid penis, so now you can connect the dots and decipher what oozing your noodle really means.

Slang Words for Female Masturbation

Guys, it’s 2022 and women have an equal number of fun and fabulous euphemisms for masturbation as do guys. Here are some hilarious phrases for female masturbation that girls can use to nickname their little “me time.”

8. Shiko Shiko Manzuri, Japanese

First of all, it’s amazing that it literally translates to “10,000 rubs” in Japanese. It’s even better when paired with its masculine equivalent, senzuri, which means “a thousand rubs.” And 10,000 rubs later, we have a “happy ending” from Shiko Shiko Manzuri.

9. Procrasturbation

Procasturation is a hybrid between procrastination and masturbation. If you find yourself dreaming about your crush and end up masturbating during the afternoon, putting your work aside for a while, you are literally procrastinating.

10. DJ downstairs

Down is a cool code word for your lower regions. And DJing downstairs means spinning your private parts to your own tunes and beats until you reach an orgasm.

11. Be Your Own Boss

Being your own boss means being responsible, making your own decisions and not having anyone tell you what to do. In the context of female masturbation, it means exactly the same thing, being responsible for what turns you on and gives you pleasure.

12. Touch up your lip gloss

Another silly phrase for female masturbation is touching up your lip gloss. This basically means self-stimulating your vagina to orgasm and making things shine there.

13. Make soup

Much like how the process of making soup makes you sweat, “making soup” is a slang phrase for female masturbation, which means getting wetter and wetter the more you pleasure yourself and that you wake up.

14. Sauce the taco

It might sound really weird, but the phrase “saucing the taco” is often used for female masturbation. The next time you want to ask your girlfriend if she likes to masturbate, you can just say, “Honey, how often do you dip the taco?” »

15. Girls night out

If you’re planning on staying home on a Friday night and watching a romantic show, sipping wine, and stimulating yourself to sleep, you can just say, “I’m planning on having a girls’ night out.” Just you and your vagina.

Final Thoughts

I hope you feel enlightened enough to arm your vocabulary with some cool masturbation slang phrases to use in front of your friends.

Do you have your own terms or code words for masturbation? Flex it in the comments below.

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